not-a-comedian:

12exe:

Horton hears somebody he used to know

image

do you ever regret drawing something

(Source: medimeedes, via nothingcooltosaysothiswilldo)

,,

Fuck, my tea.

me approximately an hour after every time I make tea (via madopiano)

(via nothingcooltosaysothiswilldo)

notes
date
02-09-2014
notes
date
02-09-2014
notes
date
02-09-2014

gif:

i thought i had a crush!! but it turned out to just be a 2 day long infatuation where i was actually just bored

(via castrationqueen)

srkdall:

5265ad:

I’m grown but I’m not grown grown

Which means I know how to ride a dick but I’m still not sure how taxes work.

(via fuck-puzzle)

notes
date
02-09-2014

If My Dog Could Talk

  • Dog: WAT DOING
  • Me: Nothing. I just stood up.
  • Dog: WHERE GO
  • Me: I'm literally walking 3 feet away. I'm not even leaving the room.
  • Dog: CAN I COME
  • Me: I mean sure but I'm literally just-
  • Dog: I COME TOO
  • Dog: WAT DOING
  • Me: I need to open this door.
  • Dog: I HALP
  • Me: No but you're in front of the door. Move please.
  • Dog: I HALP
  • Me: Sigh.
  • Dog: WHERE GOING
  • Me: I am going right back to the exact place I was sitting a second ago.
  • Dog: CAN I COME
  • Me: Sure.
  • Dog: I SIT IN LAP
  • Me: No please don't you are-
  • Dog: I SIT IN LAP
  • Me: No there's no room and-
  • Dog: LAP
  • Me: No, sit on the floor and I'll pet you.
  • Dog: RIGHT HERE
  • Me: That's literally on top of my leg.
  • Dog: IT'S PERFECT PET ME
  • Me: I am petting you. One second, let me just grab my glass-
  • Dog: PET ME PET ME PET ME PET ME
  • Me: I literally am petting you, I just needed a drink-
  • Dog: PET ME PET ME PET ME PET ME
  • Me: I AM
  • Dog: I SIT IN LAP
  • Dog: PET ME PET ME PET ME
  • Dog: HOLD SLOBBER TOY
  • Dog: SNEEZE IN UR FACE
  • Me: .......

tongue-toyed:

i never really liked

my name

much

until i found out

what it tastes like

when you write it in frosting

on top of a cake

(Source: your-scallywag, via texas-rattlesnake)